Self Esteem on the World Wide Web

Disturbingly, when I did a web search on self esteem for women, I came up with 16,000,000 odd entries. A similar search on self esteem for men showed up an also disturbing 2,000,000 or so - that's bad enough and it seems men need support and advice as well.

But clearly women's self esteem in general seems to be in significantly poorer shape. I did the search when my own self esteem was in less than a happy state. I'd read books, spoken to counsellors...you know the drill...but still without any real insights. My internet trawl also showed up some unsettling trends. Most of the self esteem resources for women, although well-meant, focus on how to make the most of our physical attributes; how to lose weight, look after our hair and skin, dress appropriately for our figures. But let's face it, none of those things actually make us feel happy or secure in the long term.

Other resources emphasize how to patch up flagging relationships; how to communicate (or not!) with our partners; how to understand how men think; how to change the way we say or do things in order to get what we want from our partners. In other words, how to manipulate! I'm not saying there's not a lot of value in learning the differences between men and women and using that knowledge to build better relationships. But it isn't the be-all and end-all and I have to say, there are few self-help tools out there that address the male need to understand a woman's different desires, needs and ways of being. And while there is no meeting us half way, there is never going to be any real elevation in esteem for women - either from the world or from ourselves. And where physical appearance is the yardstick, women will always be in competition with each other and therefore isolated from one another. Where there is division there is not strength.

But then, just when I was about to give up I found www.womensselfesteem.com and it's here I found 'a whole lot of different'. I'm now an active member of an exclusively female community who support each others' hopes and dreams, listen to fears and frustrations, advise, share wisdom, laugh, love, and mostly build a beautiful sense of community. In a spirit of acceptance and non-judgement these women build each other up, help each other find their strengths and support each other through thick and thin.

Virtually all the women who've joined the community have said something like, 'I can't believe I'm not the only one who feels this way. I feel understood for the very first time in my life. For the first time I don't feel alone anymore.'

Must be doing something very, very right. If your sense of self could do with a little repair, pay www.womensselfesteem a visit. You'll probably want to stay.

Namaste
Mel